Jeremiah
29:11 (New International Version)
For I
know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
“Are you crazy?”
That is the first
thought that popped into my head when my best friend of 17 years, told me that
she was homeschooling her son. I
could not think of a reason why she would want to put herself through
that. How in the world would her
son fit in with other kids if he were homeschooled? I really just didn’t understand
it.
My boys had just started second grade. I was so glad summer was over. I couldn’t wait to send them back to school so that I could have time for myself. Sounds selfish, doesn’t it? I worked at CVS part time as a Pharmacy Technician. I only worked 15-20 hours a week. Karigan, my daughter who was three at time, was in mother’s morning out three days a week. I worked in the evenings mostly from either 4-9 or 5-9 pm. I picked my boys up from school and quickly rushed home to feed them a snack until we had to rush to the sitters so that I could go to work. Life was hectic. I spent as much time working as I did spending time with my entire family.
One
year ago on August 10, I had my second miscarriage. I remember lying in bed
just waiting for it to happen. I had already gone to the doctor and my
pregnancy hormone levels were declining.
I waited and finally it was over. The only one who I could talk to
during that time was Jesus. I
remember praying that His will would be done and that He would be glorified for
it. Yes, I knew that I was having
a miscarriage when I prayed that prayer. He however, had great plans for my
family and me.
After the miscarriage, I began to change. I was reading my Bible more and going to church even if Andrew didn’t want to come with me. I clung to prayer and knew that I had to keep my focus on the Lord because if I didn’t I would go into a deep depression. I allowed myself to grieve but I trusted God through every bit of it. I have been in the deep black hole of depression before and I did not want to go there again. I took it day by day and had never felt closer to the Lord as I did those few weeks after the miscarriage. He was preparing me for something really big. I just didn’t know what.
Things began to return back to normal. The kids were going to public school. I quit my job at CVS after the miscarriage. I didn’t know how we were going to make it. We were barely getting by with the amount of money that Andrew brought home from his job. Andrew was worried about money as well, but felt that my place was to be at home with our children.
After I quit my job, I remember how often the subject of homeschooling would come up in conversation. My best friend was homeschooling and another woman that I knew homeschooled. My heart started changing about it. I really never thought that Andrew would allow me to homeschool, but I did a lot of research and prayed about it. The more I fought the idea of homeschooling, the more led I felt to do it.
I
began to feel like I didn’t know my boys anymore. I mean they were still my children, but I didn’t know them. I
didn’t know their friends. They had this completely different life at school
that I knew nothing about. When
they would get home from school it was snack, homework, reading, a little bit
of outside time, dinner, bath, and then bed. That is a lot to do in a 5-hour period. They came home asking questions about
things that we were shocked about!
They were using language that we did not allow or use in our home. Our life was just not going in the
direction that I felt God wanted it to be.
Something
had to change. I just didn’t know
how. I didn’t know how to make it happen. I toyed with the idea of
homeschooling the next year. My heart was full of worry for my boys and our
family. I hated the direction and separation that I felt each day I dropped
them off at school.
And then…
Andrew received a phone call about a job three hours away from where we lived. We had always wanted to move away but never had the resources to do it. I had never before seen God work in my life as He did in that month. He literally changed everything about our lives within weeks.
We moved within a month of my miscarriage. In one month God blessed me with a pregnancy and took it away for His Glory. I quit my job. My Faith was stronger than ever. He gave my husband a new job that he would love. He provided the income for us to move three hours away and I didn’t have to pack a single box. Well, maybe toothbrushes and liquids. He provided the income to buy curriculum. He changed my husband’s heart about homeschooling.
So we moved. We rented an apartment and I didn’t know a soul. I only knew that God was in control and He had big plans for our future. I was determined that Homeschooling was the only way to rekindle my relationship with my boys and to introduce them to Christ in a new way. When we moved, I became very involved with my church and found myself surrounded by other homeschool families. Funny how God provides exactly what you need exactly when you need it most. I needed friends and I needed people in my life that would support my decision for homeschooling. Not many of my friends or family back home understood why we would take it on ourselves to educate our children.
We joined a PCA church. Having been raised Southern Baptist; this was a huge deal for me. I had never really known exactly what I believed. I knew that God loved me. I knew that His Grace saved me. I believed the Bible to be true. It was the why I believed it that I had a hard time with.
My family grew closer than ever. My Faith was stronger than it had ever been. I was learning what I believed and why. I saw how indoctrinated I was in evolution and was astonished that my boys were even more indoctrinated by evolution than I was. I could not believe how much they learned in public school that they never brought home. How could I have raised godly men if I didn’t give them the foundation to stand on? Yes, my kids could have been the light in the darkness but they were not ready. The Bible says in Luke 6:40, "A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher “ (NASB).
And now….
I
have my boys back. I know them again. I have seen their relationship with the
Lord grow and flourish. It was the
hardest and best decision that I have ever made regarding my children. Homeschooling
has changed my life. God has
changed my life. He has made my
family stronger. We stand together
everyday. We learn side by side.
Deuteronomy 6: 5-7
5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and
with all your soul and with all your strength
6 These commandments that I give you today are to
be upon your hearts.
7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them
when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and
when you get up.
